Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

  G      /a   C
I saw it advertised one day,
         D                                         /f#
that the Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way.
G               C
"Come along 'n' take a trip,
      D                             /f# G
We'll bring you up there on a ship.
                           /a/b C
Bring the wife and family

Bring the whole kids."
D               G
   Yippee!

G . C . D . . G /e-d . . . .
[harp]


Well, I run right down 'n' bought a ticket
To this thing called the Bear Mountain Picnic.
little did I realize
I was in for a pleasant funny surprise.
It had nothing to do with picnics
didn't come close to a mountain.
And I hate bears.

Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier,
there were six thousand people there,
Everybody had a ticket for the trip.         G . . /a-b C
"Oh well." I said, "it's a pretty big ship.
                                D
Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier."

Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think,
That big old boat started t' sink
More people kept a-pilin' on,      G . . /a-b C
That old ship was a-goin' down.
                               D
Funny way t' start a picnic.

Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
So many people I never saw in m' life
That old ship was sinkin' down in the water,             /f# G
There were six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
                C
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-screamin',
Women a-yellin', men a-flyin', fists a-flyin', paper flyin'
Cops a-comin', me a-runnin'.
D
 Maybe we just better call off the picnic.

I got shoved down, got pushed around,
All I remember was a moanin' sound,
Don't remember one thing more,             /f# G . . /a-b C
all I remember was wakin' up on the shore,
                             /b-c D
M' arms and legs were broken,
m' feet were splintered, m' head was cracked,
I couldn't walk, couldn't talk, smell, feel, couldn't see,
Didn't know where I was, I was bald . . .
                                 /f# G
Quite lucky to be alive though.

Well, feelin' like I just climbed outa m' casket,
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,
Wishin' I'd never got up that mornin'.

Now, I don't care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it,
                                            /f# G . . /a-b
You see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit.
C                       /b-c
 Stay in m' kitchen,
D
 have m' picnic in the bathroom.

Well, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'r money.
There's a bran' new gimmick every day
                                      /f# G . . /a-b
Just t' take somebody's money away.
C                                               /b-c
 I think we oughta take some o' these people
d
 put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain . . .
For a picnic.